


About A Time I Failed

by corybanticGloom (lalune_et_lesetoiles)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Doomed Timeline, Doomed timeline AU, Dysphoria, M/M, Trans Dave, and also, bc it is not going to be featured in this work, bc lol lets not be obsessed with teen daves genitals, but he is trans af, davekat - Freeform, i exclusively write trans dave, in case anyone is new to my writing, is then a thing, just thought i should make that real clear, like canon adjacent, specifically bro abusing dave, that will probably come up at some point, this is a canon spin off, will add more tags as they come up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-07-24 16:51:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7515833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalune_et_lesetoiles/pseuds/corybanticGloom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A doomed timeline AU. Instead of trolling John, Karkat finds himself scrolling through Dave's entire timeline. He is horrified by what he finds, and ends up in a pseudo-friendship with somewhat reluctant Dave. The story spans the rest of this timeline- Dave and Karkat's budding internet romance, the beta kids becoming friends, the start of SBURB, and, eventually, all of them realizing that Dave and Karkat's diversion from the Alpha Timeline has doomed them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tell Me What Your Worst Fears Are

**Author's Note:**

> These chapters aren't going to be too long because my life is in shambles but I am attempting to make up for that with *finally* formatting my pesterlogs.

Your head fucking hurts. It’s bright and cold and yeah, holy shame globes, does your head hurt. There’s something about the way your breath is catching in your throat fast and hard that’s making you think some major shit just went down-

Oh.

He killed you. Jack. Fuck, shit, maybe not Jack, maybe just some Carapacian that looked an awful lot like Jack. Terezi insisted Jack would betray you but there is no fucking way that the dude you who helped you execute Operation Regisurp followed you to Prospit and-

Oh, god, you’re dead.

Not this you, obviously. This you is still sitting on the metal floor of the lab, wishing you could remember what it felt like to sleep in sopor slime. It’s the other you that’s dead. Dream you. First time you managed to wake up all goddamn game and you immediately got yourself killed.

And then Prospit and all its gold burned away and there was nothing but these whispers, these screams, these horrifying-

Your body shivers instinctively, pulling you right the fuck out of that train of thought. You never want to think about those _monsters_ again. You’ll never sleep again if that’s what it takes to stop it. If all Prospit dreamers see them now when they sleep, you’ll keep _all_ of you awake. Indefinitely.

Your friends don’t seem to give an active shit that you’re awake, or that you passed out in the first place. You count them- you’ve got to, you’re their leader, you’re _responsible for them-_ eleven. Twelve, counting you. Great, perfect. None of them got themselves killed while you were unconscious. You imagine it was hard for them.

Terezi is the closest to you, physically, chuckling at something on one of the computer monitors that you can’t quite make out. It’s hard even through the pounding in your skull not to wonder if she did that on purpose, staying near you like that. She likes you. Probably. Maybe. She liked you two weeks ago when she stuck her tongue into your mouth. Fuck, shouldn’t she have cared that you passed out though? Unless this is spades flirting she’s doing. Close enough to make sure no one kills her kismesis, detached enough to send you a big clear “fuck you”.

Kanaya disturbs you before you can dwell on it any further.

“Karkat. I hope my display with Tavros earlier did not cause any permanent damage for you. He seems remarkably pleased to have legs again.” She places a hand on your shoulder, eyebrow raised slightly as if threatening you to disagree. You glance over at Tavros stomping around like a complete jackass with his brand new robot legs and sigh.

“It would be great if you all could give me a heads up about any future dismemberments.” You tell her, a little more acid in your tone than necessary.

“Yes, I realized the circumstances were undesirable when you fainted.” She stops talking but keeps her hand on you.

“Prospit?” You ask.

“Yes, I was waiting for you to ask.” She responds.

“Does everyone know? I was the only one asleep. Fuck, how do I break it to everyone that their dream selves are dead?” You are in so fucking far above your head.

“I imagine it would be difficult to have a dream self die and not notice, awake or otherwise. I believe that your concern as _leader_ now lies in the cause of all this death.” The corner of her lip perks up as she says ‘leader’. It leaves you bitter- after everything, even Kanaya won’t take you seriously?

“Right, of course, leave it to your incapacitated leader to figure everything out while you all fuck around on computers. Great. Someone get me Aradia so I can ask her just where the fuck she decided to bring all of us.” You’re shouting now, loud enough for Aradia to hear on her own, but the stupid robot just keeps her gaze plastered on her computer. Terezi takes the opportunity to acknowledge your existence.

“Alright Vantas, what do you know about the humans?” She grins at you, hand stretched over her monitor so you can’t see what’s going on.

“Humans?” You ask, irritated. She plays with you like this constantly, making up words just to piss you off.

“Aliens,” Kanaya begins to explain, earning one dramatic sigh from Terezi, “Aliens playing their own SGRUB session.”

“Is that where Aradia took us? Someone else’s session? What, we have to hijack it?” You’re asking a lot of questions for a guy supposed to be in charge.

Terezi and Kanaya exchange an uncomfortable glance.

“You should take a look for yourself, candy blood.” Terezi points towards a vacant computer. You love it when she reminds of your mutant blood. Brings back all those fond memories of fearing for your life. Ah, the good old days on Alternia.

There’s more important shit going down than your determinedly black flirting with your formerly red crush, though. Shit called humans. When you boot up the ratty computer your friends have left for you, there are four very distinct timelines laid out for you. Blue, purple, red, and green. You know enough about the game to know who their leader is at a quick glance. You spend half an hour leafing through his entire timeline- his entry into the game, the complete and utter failure he is at organizing his team, his incompetence in dealing with any of the political endeavors on Derse, and, maybe most importantly, the god-creature he allows his client player to prototype _after_ he let their version of _Jack Goddamn Noir_ get ahold of the Black Queen’s ring.

He is a fucking moron.

You hate him.

You hate him in a way that makes you sick. It’s different than you’ve ever hated Terezi, or Sollux, or _yourself._ You’re supposed to be finding a way to save your entire species from the brink of extinction, and instead you’ve found yourself in your very first kismesis love.

Just like in the movies.

“So what are we doing with them, Vantas?” Vriska jeers from across the room. She’s smirking at you, giving you a full view of her monitor where troll logs between her and this John Human are scattered across the screen. You’d be aggravated with her for talking to him without your consent if you hadn’t been hatching the same exact plan.

“Holy fuck, everyone listen up! I’m sure you’re all aware that we’re completely fucked by now. Denied our prize for winning the game, stranded in some alien session in a dying universe, all the Prospit dreamers are down to one life-“ You begin.

Sollux interrupts you: “Derse is gone too. Destroyed. We’re all going to die here. Also, I’m not going along with whatever your asinine plan ends up being. Just for the record.”

You continue, “Great, what a wonderful contribution from Mr. Captor. Thanks for helping out the rest of your team, pal. For the fucking rest of you- it doesn’t really seem like we have much of an out. We are utterly stranded on the most dismal asteroid in all of space time, and we’re probably going to die here. All we’ve got now is revenge. Get the fuck on your computers and destroy these humans. Make them pay for what they’ve taken from us.”

“But some of them seem nice!” Nepeta argues. She’s not exactly one to argue with you. You want to make sure she doesn’t try that shit again.

“Did I ask for your opinion of them, Leijon? Troll. Them. Make them wish they never messed with us. I want the leader, though. Leave the John Human to me.” You order, pointed look at Vriska. She’ll ignore you, you’re sure, but it’s something you can deal with later. Besides, it’s not as if you’re concerned that Serket is going to accidentally be _nice_. John deserves her wrath.

What annoys you more than the rest of these idiots is Terezi. She didn’t bother to turn around during your brilliant speech, instead cackling at her computer screen. You do your best to ignore it, pulling up a moment real late in John’s timeline to mess around with. You’re a goddamn word poet and the hate speech pours out of you easy. You swear you’re better at typing it than screaming out loud, if only for all the isolation of your adolescence. It takes you thirty seconds to smash out a vicious speech for this god awful human boy. You’re going to make him fear you.

Before you press “send” you’re distracted by Terezi’s laugh. It isn’t like you’re using to hearing it, all high pitched and calculating, like she’s the one pulling the strings of the humor. She’s just… she’s honest to god giggling. You exit out of your unsent conversation with John and scoot over to her computer.

She’s too busy laughing to effectively hide her screen from you. It’s filled with a wall of red. Red text, red timeline, red eyes.

The other human boy.

“You flirting with the enemy now?” You accuse.

“Fuck off, Karkat.” She manages to retort in between snorts, pushing at your face with her hands.

You do. You fuck off right on back to your computer and switch viewports to this _red_ asshole. What was he? Hero of Time? If this alien douchebag thinks he can get your girl, he’s got another thing coming.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: LISTEN UP HUMAN SWINE

CG: THIS IS YOUR GOD TALKING AND I’VE GOT A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR YOU RE: YOU HITTING ON TEREZI PYROPE.

TG: bro what the shit are you talking about

TG: havent we hashed all this out already jesus christ

TG: oh damn unless youre fuckin past karkat

TG: man its so lame when you pull this time shenanigans shit

TG: hey im karkat here to confuse the living shit out of everyone i hold dear to me

TG: when am i from who knows your guess is as good as mine so good luck not accidentally spilling some future secrets to me

TG: i mean i wont spill future secrets obviously

TG: master of time here

TG: you fuck john right up though buddy

TG: anyway hey what the fuck do you want

CG: WHAT THE FUCK?

CG: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO YOUR GOD LIKE THIS!

CG: I CREATED YOU, HUMAN.

TG: oh my god

TG: yes

TG: hell fucking yes

TG: oh this had better be as good as you built it up to be dude

TG: this is the first time youre talking to me right

TG: ok there are three things i have got to tell you about humans before you continue bro

TG: the first thing is that youve gotta ask every human how big their dick is when you first talk to them

TG: its how we assess whos the leader ok

TG: im willing to forgive this huge oversight on your part but you gotta do it with john and rose and jade

CG: YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT.

TG: two

CG: NO STOP I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

CG: HOW CAN TEREZI FUCKING STAND TALKING TO YOU FOR SO LONG?

TG: yeah man i know you’re going through some shit right now

TG: so ill chill

TG: but ok just for the fuckin record going forward

TG: i wasnt hitting on tz

TG: obviously i know me saying this now doesnt do shit for your anxiety about it in the future but

TG: seriously i am so not about that

CG: I HATE MYSELF FOR ASKING THIS

CG: BECAUSE I AM OBVIOUSLY ABOUT TO START A SELF FUCKING FUFILLING PROPHECY

CG: BUT WE HAVE SPOKEN BEFORE FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE?

TG: oh shit my man

TG: have we ever

TG: you and i are best fucking bros

TG: basically lovers

CG: STOP

CG: NO NO NO

CG: I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE ASKED HOLY FUCK DO NOT EVER BRING UP YOUR FUCKED UP INTERSPECIES ROMANCE AGAIN.

CG: IT’S BAD ENOUGH YOU AND TEREZI ARE CLEARLY GETTING IT ON.

CG: DO NOT PULL ME INTO THIS"

TG: hahahahaha

TG: right right

TG: so sorry to fuck with your quadrants karkat

CG: HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE DELICATE ART OF QUADRANTS?

TG: trust me

TG: i wish i didnt know jack shit about them

TG: unfortunately i have spoken with you for more than thirty seconds so i am basically the human ambassador on quadrants at this point

CG: ALRIGHT, I WOULD LIKE TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I OFFICIALLY HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR GODDAMN GARBAGE.

CG: YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF ME, YOU CAN FLIRT WITH TEREZI, YOU CAN BE A GENERALLY INSUFFERABLE PRICK

CG: BUT I DRAW THE FUCKING LINE AT MOCKING MY *ENTIRE* CULTURE.

CG: YOUR FUCKING SLANDER ABOUT QUADRANTS THAT YOU HAVE NO WAY OF COMPREHENDING IS DESPICABLE AND I SWEAR ON MY DEAD FUCKING LUSUS THAT I WILL MAKE YOU PAY.

TG: hahaha oh my god

TG: this is it this is everything ive ever wanted

TG: classic goddamn karkat pissed off about quadrants

TG: you cant make this up

TG: you can fuck me you can fuck my girlfriend but dont you dare insult my weird ass alien romance chart

TG: holy shit i cant wait to talk to you about this

TG: current you i mean

TG: my time you

TG: youre gonna be so goddamn embarrassed 

CG: MY SINCERE APOLOGIES IF I HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING THAT I WOULD EVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN, NEVERMIND IN THE FAMILIAR WAY YOU'RE IMPLYING, AFTER THIS SHITSTORM OF A CONVERSATION.

TG: ok dickface this was fun but i think im done with the aggressive yelling

TG: didnt miss this shit thats for sure

TG: pretty sure i get back at your for it when you first start talking to me though

TG: prepare yourself for me being kind of an asshole

CG: OH HEAVENS ME HOW WILL I EVER GET THROUGH THAT?

CG: WAIT I’VE GOT IT! I DON’T HAVE TO.

CG: GOODBYE FOREVER DIRTBAG.

TG: wait shit dont block me

TG: im sorry im messing around with you ok

TG: i remember you saying you were going through some major shit the first time you talked to me

TG: its about jack isnt it

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT JACK?

TG: im prolly fucking up some timeline shit telling you this but

TG: it wasnt your jack from your session

TG: he was ours

CG: YEAH I GATHERED THAT SCROLLING THROUGH YOUR SHITSCUM LEADER’S TIMELINE.

CG: IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE TO TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT CUMDUMPSTER.

CG: I’VE GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU THOUGH

CG: HOW THE SHIT DID YOU LET THIS ALL HAPPEN?

TG: series of fuck ups on our part

TG: we prototyped some messed up stuff and overpowered the motherfucker

TG: he killed a lot of people

CG: HE KILLED ME

CG: AND I KNOW IT WAS YOUR FAULT.

CG: I KNOW IT WASN’T MY JACK.

CG: BUT HOW DID HE GET INTO OUR SESSION? WHAT THE FUCK POWERS DID YOU EVEN GIVE HIM?

TG: i dont think

TG: im supposed to tell you yet bro

TG: we work a lot of this shit out together later in your timeline

TG: i just know your jack meant a lot to you bro

TG: didnt want you to have to sit there thinking that he betrayed you or some shit

CG: GREAT THANK YOU SO MUCH

CG: ALL OF MY PROBLEMS HAVE SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED NOW THAT YOU’VE TOLD ME YOU’RE THE CAUSE OF THEM!

CG: WISH YOU COULD SEE HOW BIG MY SMILE IS!!!!!!

TG: ok so obviously youre just being a fuckin asshole right now

TG: i get it you dont know me yet and youre all jacked up about jack

TG: lmao pun am i right

TG: but yeah im not tryna stick around and get yelled at by douchebag karkat so

TG: good fuckin luck or whatever

TG: and maybe future you can remember to actually respond to me around this time god damn

CG: GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE

carcinoGeneticist [CG]  banned turntechGodhead  [?TG]

You are fucking seething. You expected this guy to be a complete prick but, holy hell, did he exceed expectations. How dare this insolent little flesh bag talk to you as if he and his friends didn’t just utterly doom you? You were clearly wasting your time drudging through their leader’s entire timeline- your focus should be on this Dave asshole.

The way Terezi is still smiling at her computer screen- at _him_ \- does nothing but make you feel more righteous in your cause.

You scroll back far enough to see his haunting red eyes before his guardian understandingly hides them behind a disgusting pair of shades. The thought of eyes so similar to what yours are doomed to become has you feeling sick, skipping ahead a couple years. The fuck is the point of creeping on a grub, anyway?

Your stomach drops when you stop scrolling. This kid- Dave- can’t be more than a few sweeps old. His guardian has him up on the roof with a sword twice the size of his body poking, prodding, slashing. Dave’s got a black eye and a dozen gashes to match. You have to give the human kid credit, he’s doing his best to block the attacks. He’s not even too bad at dodging some of the slower ones. His guardian isn’t _slow_ , though, isn’t even trying to be. You see it coming before Dave does, this swing from the adult’s sword headed straight for his neck. You barely have time to think the word “decapitation” before his guardian flips the sword sideways, forces the blunt side collide with Dave’s collarbone. It begins to welt before you have the chance to skip forward a few more months. You wonder if it broke the bone.

You hadn’t seen shit like that go down on John’s timeline. Fuck, even your lusus wasn’t as violent with you. Was this _normal_ for humans?

It takes you twenty minutes to settle on another time frame to watch him from. Maybe you’re still shaken up from being killed on Prospit, from bearing witness to the horrorterrors, but the bits and pieces of his life you’re picking up on are _fucking you up._ Its always pitch black in Dave’s tiny apartment, and it’s covered in puppets and cameras and what you can only goddamn hope are packets of fake blood. You’ve read a dozen threatening notes left to Dave by his guardian. Threatening is the wrong word. They’re petrifying, laden with psychological terror. Shit you couldn’t think up. Shit you don’t think _Vriska_ could think up. And they’re everywhere. Dave- fucking barely older than a grub Dave- just finds them and tosses them aside, laughs like they’re supposed to be funny. The further into his timeline you go, the more often the threats end up coming true. Dave will turn the corner to find a bloody puppet staring back at him. To get hit by his guardian’s sword. To stumble onto a computer screen playing the most vile puppet porn you’ve ever seen in your pathetic life.

You think it’s the porn that’s really getting to you. Maybe Dave is an anomaly for humans with all the sword fighting and shit and, yeah, that’s pretty messed up- but it isn’t like there weren’t trolls on Alternia in situations like that, too. Vriska. Feferi. Half of your conversations with Sollux were interrupted by him having to sooth his lusus. Gamzee’s lusus was around less than Dave’s seems to be (which, for the fucking record, seems only to be when the dude is trying to physically assault Dave). But yeah, no, the porn is messed up.

It isn’t like those hilarious television shows on Alternia where the little troll kid goes snooping in a closet and finds some pictures they aren’t supposed to, leading to a whole big episode of hijinks. Its… everywhere. Phallic puppets all over the house, pushing their way into Dave’s room, covered in liquids that you can’t even begin to describe. His guardian leaves his porn website up on all the electronics in the hive stem. Dave can’t _not_ look at it. And, shit, the cameras. It was sickening enough when Dave was too young to realize he was being constantly monitored and uploaded onto the internet for presumably adult consumption. You’re further on his timeline now, though. Far enough in that he’s found the cameras and seen himself on the websites and _laughed it off._

You don’t get how this is the same kid you just screamed at. You don’t get how he manages to be functional at all, locked in that hellhole. You know from personal fucking experience that being trapped in a single hive your entire life can fuck you up. At least your guardian wasn’t trying to kill you. Drive you insane. Systematically destroy you.

You’ve found yourself watching this one night on repeat. Dave must be four, five sweeps old but has been alone for days. You can tell he’s starving, filling himself up with water before bed. He doesn’t notice the note his guardian placed in the shower because he hasn’t showered in days, so he goes to bed feeling way too fucking safe. You watch him sleep for hours, over and over, wishing he got to stay like that- peaceful, dreaming, safe. He doesn’t, though. His guardian slips in around four in the morning, that puppet by his side. You swear you can hear it whispering, even from your computer screen. They watch him for as long as you do. You think there’s a camera in his guardian’s hand.

You try twenty three times, but you can’t force yourself to watch the collision when his guardian finally swings his sword against Dave’s sleeping body. You do make yourself watch Dave wash off the blood in the morning, after the resulting fight. You feel sick.

“I thought you wanted us to stop paying attention to Strider.” Terezi’s voice startles you. She’s close, just behind your shoulder. You can’t tell how long she’s been watching you watch him.

“How far back into his timeline have you gone?” You ask her, voice more ragged than you expected.

“I’ve just been talking him through playing the game. Jeez, Vantas. Stick up your waste chute much?” She smiles that big fake smile at you.

“Don’t fuck with him.” You tell her.

“Three hours ago your explicit command was to fuck with them.” She makes a good point.

You don’t think you can let them fuck with someone who’s already going through literal hell though.

“He’s mine. Mess with the girls, or the stupid leader. I don’t give a shit Terezi, just leave him to me.” You command.

Her eyes narrow as if she’s going to fight back, but then she flashes you that big awful grin again, “Whatever you say, _leader._ ”

You think you’d normally be more annoyed with her. Right now you’re distracted by the pit in your stomach that hasn’t left since you saw Dave’s guardian for the first time.

On your computer, Dave is still washing his wounds from the night before in the too-moldy sink. You wish you had it in you to skip past this, but something about the way he stares straight at the wall from behind his shades ignoring the red pooling in the drain reminds you way too much of the times you’d accidentally cut yourself with your sickle and spent hours trying to scrub away the mutant blood leaking out of your veins.

Except that this poor kid didn’t accidentally cut himself.

He got the shit beaten out of him.

In his sleep.

By his guardian.

Holy hell, you have to say something to him.

You skip forward half an hour, when he’s done wrapping his arms in gauze, when he’s sitting at his computer drawing pictures of nothing with the hand you know damn well he doesn’t use for writing.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: HI STRIDER

CG: HOW ARE YOU?

CG: SHIT THAT’S A TERRIBLE QUESTION, YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY TERRIBLE, THAT’S WHY I’M FUCKING TALKING TO YOU

CG: BUT ASIDE FROM AWFUL

CG: SHIT

CG: I’M FUCKING THIS UP

TG: ok woah stranger danger

turntechGodhead [TG] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: GOD FUCKING BULGESHIT


	2. Tell Me What You Think About When You Can't Fall Asleep At Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had this all written out a week ago but pesterlog formatting is killing me

carcinoGeneticist  [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: FUCK

CG: HI STRIDER

CG: HOW ARE YOU?

CG: SHIT THAT’S A TERRIBLE QUESTION, YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY TERRIBLE, THAT’S WHY I’M FUCKING TALKING TO YOU

CG: BUT ASIDE FROM AWFUL

CG: SHIT

CG: I’M FUCKING THIS UP

TG: ok woah stranger danger

turntechGodhead [TG] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: GOD FUCKING BULGESHIT

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are trying to pull your shit together. It is exactly eight twenty two in the morning. That means Rose is already in her cute little home school session, and John is currently eating a bowl of cereal on his way to the bus stop. You’re pretty sure Jade is asleep but, honestly, you still haven’t quite gotten ahold of her whole time distance thing. You’re sure it’ll click at some point.

Bottom line, this random ass dude hitting you up at sunrise isn’t one of your friends just fucking with you. You’d be more inclined to cut the guy some slack if you hadn’t spent forty five minutes this morning cleaning out a real deep gash on your arm. You’re exhausted, you’re starving, you want to sleep.

But there’s some creep on the internet that knows your name.

Hey, maybe SBAHJ is finally taking off, and you’ve got yourself your first stalker. Only one way to find out.

Besides, your passion is fucking with people.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: obviously im just messing around who gives a shit about stranger danger right

TG: especially when ive got this ninja ass bro to kick some pedo ass for me

TG: fuck up all my internet predators you feel

TG: who needs chris hansen when youve got a goddamn katana

TG: anyway what the fuck are you talking about

TG: is this john

TG: did you change your chumhandle again asshole

TG: wake up real early to get your chat on with your best bro

CG: FUCK NO SHUT YOUR WINDTRAP FOR A SECOND

CG: I’M

TG: okay youve been typing for awhile there

TG: you forget your name

CG: IF YOU COULD STOP INCESSANTLY TYPING FOR MORE THAN THIRTEEN SECONDS AT A TIME

CG: I AM ATTEMPTING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW IN GRUB FUCKING HELL I KNOW ABOUT YOU

CG: BUT IN THE MIDST OF TYPING OUT AN EXPLANATION I CAME TO THE STARTLING REALIZATION THAT EVERYTHING I AM ABOUT TO SAY SOUNDS LIKE A BUNCH OF HORSESHIT

CG: AND ALSO THAT IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE FOR ME TO EVEN BE THE ONE TO TRY TO COMFORT YOU HERE.

TG: comfort me

TG: sounds kinda gay

TG: what do i need comforting from anyway

TG: youre totally a sbahj fan arent you

TG: thinking youve seen something deep in the latest panel

TG: dont psychologically profile my art dude youre totally stifling my creative flow

CG: OKAY.

CG: HERE IT FUCKING GOES.

CG: THREE YEARS FROM NOW YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A GAME THAT I HAVE ALREADY PLAYED.

TG: holy fuck this is some saw shit if ive ever seen it

TG: youre gonna kidnap me and murder the fuck out of me

TG: or make me murder myself

TG: who knows ive never actually seen saw ok but i know a reference when i see one

CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU RAMBLING ABOUT? SOME STUPID HUMAN MOVIE? JESUS SHIT I AM ATTEMPTING TO HAVE A REVELATORY CONVERSATION WITH YOU. STOP TALKING AND LISTEN TO YOUR GOD.

TG: wait god

TG: i get it were doing roleplay

TG: should i call you daddy

CG: WHATS A DADDY???

TG: i think

TG: my whole life has been building up for this moment

TG: to this very explanation

TG: wow and now im blowing it

TG: it was too much pressure bro

TG: i had the opportunity to armageddon this daddy meteor and save the planet but i fucked up my chance

CG: I AM GOING TO IGNORE ALL OF THE USELESS BITS OF YOUR LITTLE RANT THERE

CG: WHICH, FOR REFERENCE, WAS THE MAJORITY OF THE BULLSHIT YOU JUST SPENT TIME TYPING OUT

CG: AND USE THAT METEOR ANALOGY TO SEGUE INTO MY ACTUALLY IMPORTANT SHIT.

CG: THREE YEARS FROM NOW, YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A GAME. IN THAT GAME, METEORS WILL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET.

TG: youre obviously trolling me but you arent very good at it

TG: i mean shit if youre tryna scare me you gotta at least come up with something believable

TG: you seem to be struggling let me help you out

TG: oh hi dave my name is carcinoGeneticist but plot twist im actually inside your house

TG: and also a puppet

TG: like if you told me that shit id be like oh damn

TG: spooky puppet from inside my house is trying to talk to me fuck

TG: time to call the fucking ghost busters

CG: I AM NOT FUCKING TROLLING YOU! THIS GAME LITERALLY DESTROYED MY PLANET! AND YOU FOUR PIECES OF SHIT PLAY YOUR SESSION TERRIBLY. SO TERRIBLY THAT IT SENDS YOUR BIG BAD BOSS TO OUR SESSION.

TG: so what youre saying is that youre an alien and youre mad at me

TG: lol dude this story is convoluted as fuck maybe you should simplify it edit that mother fucker down and try again tomorrow

TG: i already gave you a better trolling idea dude

TG: puppet from inside my own house

CG: I CAN’T SIMPLIFY THE GODDAMN TRUTH STRIDER.

CG: STOP INTERRUPTING ME SO I CAN MAKE MY FUCKING POINT.

TG: yeah my bad i do wanna see where this is goin

TG: brief question though

TG: how do you know my name

CG: IT’S A LONG STORY.

TG: uh huh

CG: I THINK THAT MY TEAMMATE TRANSPORTED US TO THE VEIL.

CG: WE’RE IN THIS LAB

CG: I CAN SEE YOU ON MY COMPUTER.

TG: woah okay so

TG: you just slipped up

TG: i know exactly who the fuck you are now

TG: some creep from bros porn sites

TG: shit i must have messed up our ip rerouting shit torrenting or something

TG: hes gonna be so pissed

CG: NO

CG: NO NO NO

CG: THAT IS NOT WHO I AM DAVE

CG: THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

CG: I TOLD MY TEAMMATES TO TROLL YOU. ALL OF YOU, YOU AND JOHN AND THOSE TWO GIRLS. BUT WHEN I WAS WATCHING YOUR TIMELINE I FOUND ALL THIS MESSED UP SHIT AND I COULDN’T JUST STAND BY AND LET IT HAPPEN.

TG: wow ok pedo i guess this is actually stranger danger

TG: obviously you learned my friends names from creeping on my computer

TG: instead of watching the fucking puppets like youre supposed to

TG: i don’t give a shit if you mess with me

TG: obviously my bro is going to make sure you cant hurt us

TG: hes kind of cool as shit

TG: but you cant go making threats about my dumbass friends im not putting up with that

CG: SHUT UP SHUT UP!

CG: I’M DOING A SHITTY JOB EXPLAINING MYSELF HERE, OKAY?

CG: FIRST OF ALL YOUR “BRO” IS NOT COOL AS SHIT!

CG: HE BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF YOU THIS MORNING.

CG: WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING!

CG: I HAVE SEEN SOME MESSED UP SHIT ON MY PLANET, OKAY? AND I GUARENTEE YOU THERE WAS SOME DISGUSTING VIOLENCE IN SGRUB. BUT THE SHIT HE DOES TO YOU

CG: I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE OKAY

CG: I WANT TO HELP

CG: I WANT TO GET YOU AWAY FROM HIM

TG: is this where you tell me youre outside and invite me into your van

TG: you know i can use a sword too right

CG: STOP MAKING FUCKING JOKES!

CG: DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT SEE HOW FUCKED UP YOUR GUARDIAN IS?

TG: ok this was fun for awhile

TG: but im not in the mood

TG: maybe try trolling me when im not so deadass tired from the coolest fucking duel youve ever seen

CG: THAT WASN’T A DUEL!

turntechGodhead [TG] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG]

You’re having a weird morning. You’d try to sleep it off, but the throbbing of your arm won’t let you. Bro was right to do it. You shouldn’t have been so dead asleep. You’re lucky it was just bro. If it’d been someone there actually trying to kill you, you’d be dead. Thank shit bro keeps an eye out for you, makes sure you’re staying sharp as hell. Puts you in your place when he knows you’re fucking up getting too cozy in bed and shit.

You make your way out into the kitchen hoping he brought some fast food back with him. There’s nothing, at least not in plain sight, and you know better than to go creeping through the fridge or cabinets. You’ll have to shimmy down your fire escape later on when you’re sure he’s not watching and grab something off the dollar menu from the Chinese place across the street. You think you can scrounge up a dollar.

The hair on the back of your neck shoots up while your distracted thinking about food, emptiness in your stomach dropping into a cold pit. You can see his reflection in the window in front of you. Cal. Yup so bro is definitely still hanging around the apartment. By the time you spin around to confront the puppet, it’s been replaced by bro in the flesh.

“Oh shit. What’s up bro?” You ask, doing your best to swallow down your surprise.

“Thought you’d be more aware of your surroundings after this afternoon.” He tells you.

The growl of your stomach answers him.

Even through his shades you can sense his disdainful look when he says, “Get yourself something to eat, kid.”

He doesn’t offer you any money before he flashsteps out of the kitchen. It takes you half an hour of overturning cushions to come up with three dollars in quarters and dimes. You’re lucky bro dumps change out of his pockets every time he comes home, you don’t know how you’d eat if he didn’t. Not like they let ten year olds get jobs in Houston.

It’s too early in May for it to be so oppressively hot outside. The weather doesn’t usually push ninety until at least June, but here you are sweating your ass off walking down the block. You found enough money to opt for BBQ, and Hank across the counter greets you the way he always has, “Hi little lady, ribs again?” but recently he’s been tacking on, “Y’know, you’re getting old enough that the short hair ain’t gonna be cute for much longer”. You fail to tell him you’re a boy, just like bro always did when you were younger. You think about taking the long way home, around the block and across the park. The sun is nice, and it hasn’t been hot for enough consecutive days for the entire city to reek like garbage like it will later this summer. It’s close to rush hour, though, and its _loud._ The honking and screeching breaks get to you, make it impossible for you to be completely aware of your surroundings, overwhelm you. So you go home to your silent apartment where all you have to listen for is the sound of bro looking to strife.

Cal is sitting in front of the door when you get home. You eat your dinner with your bedroom door locked, knowing it won’t make much of a difference if the puppet is actually trying to mess with you. It’s quiet out there, for now, so you take the time to catch up with your new best bro.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

TG: hey my man hows it hanging

EB: dave! thank god you’re messaging me, i had such a weird day!

TG: holy shit

TG: me too

TG: its like were cosmically linked or something

TG: did your day also end with you stuffing an entire rack of ribs in your mouth

EB: haha, nope. i think that’s just one of your weird southern quirks again.

TG: bro come on

TG: you cant tell me you dont appreciate a nice big pile of ribs

TG: fuckin melt in your mouth

EB: no way, but my story does involve food! there was a fire in the cafeteria at my school today!

EB: dad had to leave work to pick me up and everything.

EB: but he made me watch movies with him the rest of the afternoon.

EB: soooo annoying!

EB: finally get a day off when my wow guild is raiding and my dad wont even let me take advantage of it

EB: bluh bluh

TG: haha damn dad egbert again with his bullshit

TG: meanwhile my bro is fucking incredible

TG: left me a treasure hunt that culminated in these bone suckin ribs

EB: stop talking about the ribs god damn it!

EB: wait, weren’t you at school today too?

TG: nah man im homeschooled

TG: bro knows striders can only be taught by striders

TG: thats how i have time to learn all my sweet sword moves

EB: haha okaaay i have a hard time believing that they’re sweet.

EB: you still have yet to provide me with evidence of that.

EB: jeez, am i the only one that goes to public school?

TG: i mean rose is homeschooled for sure

EB: oh really?

EB: i’ve definitely never heard her talk about that before.

TG: lmao

EB: she actually made a huge blog post about it again last night, did you read it?

TG: ive been a little too busy to try to get involved in one of her fifty page rants

TG: please feel free to give me the highlights

EB: i actually don’t have time! my dad made me waste the entire day with him, so now i’ve got to finish this book report.

EB: i’ll talk to you tomorrow though?

TG: alright egbert

TG: bring me home an a+ so i can hang it on the fridge

ectoBiologist [EB]  ceased pestering turntechGodhead  [TG]

Talking to John always has you feeling lucky as shit to have bro around instead of some nosy intrusive parent. He doesn’t make you go to school, or complete normal homeschooling lessons like Rose’s mom does, or force you to spend weird amounts of bonding time with him. You just get to chill in your room and snoop through his coding books and shit. That and the sweet sword fighting, obviously.

You ate too fast. Your stomach is killing you. You should know better by now, not to stuff your face after days of no real meals, but you’ve got trouble controlling yourself when a juicy rack of ribs is laid out in front of you. You’re in dire need of a trip to the bathroom but you know that’ll require sneaking out of your room and down the hall without being noticed by bro. You aren’t looking forward to a strife when you feel so sick.

You’re pretty much a professional at opening your door unnoticed. You’ve got the hinges all greased up so they don’t squeak and know the exact pressure to place on your lock so it won’t make that jarring “click” that’ll alert bro to your presence. You’re worse at sneaking down the hall. The wood is old and creaks beneath your weight no matter where you step.

Despite your embarrassing attempt at sneaking, bro doesn’t stop you as you tip-toe down the hall. Guess you disappointed him too much during this morning’s strife for him to want much to do with you. You probably won’t see him again for a few days and when you do, you’re gonna have to show him you learned from today’s mistakes.

On your way back to your bedroom you can’t help but notice his porn site big and open on the TV. It’s not one of the camera angles you’re used to seeing, from his room, the kitchen, the bathroom. This one’s got your bed dead center. And, hell, you’re inside of it. Not on camera, not technically. You’re covered by your sheets, by puppets, but that wriggling lump underneath it all is definitely you. The clock by your bed in the frame reads 3:56AM. Must have been right before bro initiated your strife this morning.

You walk away, back into your bedroom. Beyond the door, on the TV still playing the puppet porn, you hear bro unsheathe his sword.

You’re not sure how this all makes you feel.

You lock your door and hop on Pesterchum.

turntechGodhead [TG]  began pestering tentacleTherapist  [TT]

TG: yo rose

TG: i have to tell you about this wild strife i had this morning

TG: you there

TG: rose

TG: rose

TG: ok anyway

TG: so i think my mid year resolution is to learn how to do a backwards flip off the wall while holding my katana

TG: i basically did it today

TG: minus the landing part

TG: but landing is totally the easiest part anyway right lol

TG: rose

TG: fucking hello

TG: why are you ignoring your coolest friend

tentacleTherapist  [TT] is an idle chum

TG: god damn it

Full disclosure, you’re in the mood to talk to someone. Your arm is kind of torn to shreds, and your stomach hurts, and you’re alone (or maybe not alone) in this house full of puppets. You could go for a good laugh with your new internet pals. You guess John and Rose are both busy though. Guess there’s one more option. Your pulse picks up a little, you feel it in the wound in your arm.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic  [GG]

TG: ms harley

TG: good morning

TG: or evening

TG: still have no idea where you live

GG: hello dave!!!!

TG: ok important question

TG: is this awake jade or asleep jade?

GG: i am flying and surrounded by gold if thats what youre asking!!!!

TG: ok go back to sleep dreamer girl

GG: i am pretty tired.....

GG: but id love to chat when i wake up coolkid

TG: yeah that checks out i would want to talk to me too

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

Jade is cool and all, and is entirely the reason that you’re friends with John and Rose, but she is an absolute nightmare when she is sleeptyping to you. Or her robot is typing? Honestly, the rest of you still haven’t figured out how much of what Harley says is bullshit. You’ll talk to her when she’s awake and you can decipher more of what she’s saying.

Now you’re stuck wondering if bro’s stashed more webcams in your room. If that troll from the internet earlier is still watching you. Either there are other cameras, or this dude has majorly hacked your computer. Thankfully Google exists, so you get to spend an hour researching and installing the best firewall you can figure out on your own. If there are cameras, you’re sure you’ll stumble upon their location at some point. Or, like, will be able to deduce their location via angles on bro’s smuppet site. Whichever.

You’re struggling not to think about that weirdo. carcinoGeneticist. CG. The way he tried to tell you it was anything but cool and ironic to get your bro gets you to unwittingly partake in puppet porn.

Like, fuck, if Rose’s mom can be all boozy and John’s dad can get into weekly cake fights with him and Jade’s parent can be a literal dog, shit, can’t bro run a pornography company out of his own house?

You still feel weird about bro recording your literal sleeping body. For once, you’re glad he doesn’t seem to be home right now. You open up Pesterchum and stare at it for a good hour, thinking about unblocking that troll and giving him the most ironic annoying hell you can muster up. But your arm still throbs, and your eyelids are heavy. You set thirty alarms on your phone each half an hour apart to make sure you don’t fall into too deep of a sleep and get caught in REM by bro like last night, and hit the pillows hard. The sun still burning bright in the sky above you helps to keep you half awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ corybanticgloom.tumblr.com


	3. All Sewn Together Like a City Sick From Storms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was rough getting this out while im starting a new job/helping my partner move, buut here ya go! hopefully the next chapter will be out a lil faster :)

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: i know that i was complaining about summer ending a few days ago, but im kind of excited about the new school year!

EB: ive been a shut in only talking to you all summer, i’m excited to see my real life friends again :B 

TG: ok first of all weve gotta put it on record that i am officially offended that im not real life

EB: i thought you were too cooooool to be real life.

TG: good point

TG: second of all

EB: there always has to be a second of all with you doesnt there?

TG: second of all

TG: what has you changing your tune buddy

TG: last weekend you were all up and planning on running away to my place so you could live out the sweet school free life with me

EB: something about the fall air and all these backpack commercials has me excited though!

EB: im already planning my first day outfit.

TG: dude we both know youre just gonna wear a ghostbusters shirt dont be such a chick about it

EB: haha shut up dude

EB: what would you know about first day of school politics anyway?

TG: im sure im really missing out

EB: well on that sarcastic note, i just came on to tell you that i wont be online until late tonight. Im going to get one of those fancy backpacks i keep seeing commercials for :B

EB: bye dave

EB: dont kill too many orcs without me

TG: i wouldnt dream of it bro

Ectobiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

Well, there go your plans for the evening. You stretch out your arms and pull your feet out from underneath your ass, sending a wave of pinpricks up your body. Bro’s been out for a few days again, giving you the opportunity to get real lazy sitting in your computer chair for hours on end. You’re feeling antsy tonight. You’ve decidedly failed to accomplish anything of value during this time- SBAHJ updates, mixing some of those tunes Jade and Rose sent you, attempting to become less shitty with your sword- and have instead opted for finally agreeing to play WoW with John. He was right, it is fun. Mostly. You’re a hell of a lot lower level than him and have to watch your cute undead chick die constantly, but it’s whatever. It feels pretty sweet to cheat the system by having him tag along on all your level four quests.  

You guess he isn’t gonna be able to play tonight, though. You’ll have to put off leveling up, playing isn’t so much fun without John tromping along ahead of you. Losing your plans for the evening isn’t helping you to feel less uneasy. Seems like you’re past the “holy shit I have the apartment to myself I can just chill and not worry about getting hit in the dick with a sword” part of bro being gone and have moved onto “oh hell he’s been gone for awhile, he could come back at any moment and I have been slacking off so damn much there’s no way I’ll be ready”. You have a feeling you won’t be sleeping much till he comes home. 

You scroll through pesterchum for the fifth time since John left. Yup, he’s still gone. And, what a surprise, none of all your other two friends have been online in hours. You open up a microsoft paint document, then close it. You check pesterchum one more time. The pit in your gut screaming “turn around, he could be watching you” has done nothing but get larger. Shit. Seems like you’re going to have to pull yourself off your ass and put your fears to rest. 

You unhook your legs from underneath you, the rush of blood sending pins and needles down to your toes. The sensation nearly makes you trip onto your desk as you reach for your sword. You catch yourself- you’re used to numbness in your legs when you’re fighting, from standing for longer than you should, from falling down stairs, from blood loss. Bro’s done a hell of a good job teaching you that if you can’t fight at your weakest, you can’t fight at all. If you weren’t so terrified of being punched, you’d wish he watched as you maintained your balance during that debacle. If he was capable of pride, he’d totally feel it for you now. Probably. 

Or more likely, he’d give you that cold hard stare that means “why have you been on the computer so long little bro”. 

You push your door out into the hallway as quickly as possible, hoping that if Bro really is home you’ll startle him enough to catch a glimpse of a flashstep. There’s nothing when you open the door, just the hum of the game he left paused on his xbox days ago. You glance at the screen- his character is facing the same direction, in the same spot, with the same HP, and same timestamp. If he’s been home it hasn’t been for long enough for him to have sat down to relax. You check the sink- still six smuppets inside, grinning at you. You’ve got a string of hairs you’ve laced across the doorknob to the bathroom that are still completely in place (thanks for the inspiration, That 70s Show), so he hasn’t been in there. You peek out on the roof, just for a second, just for long enough to see that he isn’t standing out there.

Okay. Still alone. The pit in your gut hasn’t changed much, knowing a surprise attack is inevitably in store for you later. If anything, your gut is feeling worse- all this snooping has made it almost impossible for you to ignore the growling in your stomach. You’ve gone through the dregs of the leftovers in your closet and ran out of couch change weeks ago. Guess it’s gonna be one of those jumping-into-the-local-fountain-for-change days. They aren’t so bad in the heart of summer, but it’s starting to get just a little too cool out for you to be pumped about getting soaking wet. No other choice though, right? You toss on your slightly-too-tight converse and a baggy T-Shirt and head out the door. It takes you fifteen minutes to get to the park, and another twenty of waiting for other people to leave the immediate area before you’re able to hop in the calf deep water and fish through the water for quarters. 

Realistically, you should have thought out your shoe choice a little better. Your socks are still soggy on your way back from the dollar store, arms full of instant noodles and chips. You assume the trail of water that squishes out from beneath you with every step is what has your neighbors gawking at you when you enter the lobby. It gets a little sketchier when they follow you up the stairs, huffing along behind you, and absolutely incriminating when you hear the wife mutter “I  _ told _ you I saw bruises on the backs of her legs! We have to say something, Mike!”. 

You save her the trouble and whip around to face them, dropping your groceries. 

“I’m a boy.” You tell them, stare them right in the face through your shades till their cheeks turn pink. 

“Does your dad always make you buy the food, sweetheart?” The woman eventually asks you, expression all soft.

You look right past her and say to her husband, “Does your wife always stick her nose in other people’s business, pumpkin?” 

They both shrink back for a moment, then come back at you with even more vigor. 

“Listen, uh, son, we- we’ve just noticed your dad isn’t home much. And when he is… we live right below you. We hear the fighting. We just want to help you. You can tell us what’s happening.” The man responds, taking a step closer.

“Oh, yeah, I would love to confess to you how many martial arts movies we watch together. God damn and the way I take sword fighting lessons. He really is a shit brother, working two jobs after our parents died to support me and my interests. Get this shit- he even helps me practice sometimes. So I can be ready for my next belt exam. Better call the police.” Your voice is deadpan but the air is heavy with sarcasm. 

“We see you coming home with food like this all on your own every week. There’s something going on up there, we know there is.” The wife chimes in again.

“Okay, if y’all could not rat on me to my Bro about sneaking all this junk food, that would be hella chill. Not trying to get grounded here.” You know it’s a lie, but they clearly don’t get your relationship with your brother. All you wanna do is go back inside and microwave some water for your instant noodles. 

There’s a familiar breeze behind you, and the couple in front of you go pale. You know it’s bro before you feel the weight of his hand on your right shoulder matched by Cal’s on your left. 

“You caught him sneaking out for snacks, huh?” Bro says. Your neighbors remain completely silent so bro continues, “I appreciate you keeping an eye on him, I’m sure you know how hard being a single parent can be. Little scamp here doesn’t even remember our parents.” 

You are about eighty percent sure bro found you outside as an infant as a result of some bullshit you try not to think about, but yeah, sure. Shared parents. 

“Can I keep the chips, bro?” You ask him, all innocent.

“If you share ‘em with me.” He ruffles your hair, ushers you up the stairs before him. From behind you, his whisper to these assholes echos in the stairwell, “Listen you creeps, my brother is a kid. I don’t know what you’ve been watching him for, but I will call the cops on you so fast if you don’t cut your pedophile shit out.” 

He still manages to beat you into the apartment. 

“That was some wild shit, huh?” You say to him, stomach in knots. 

He stares, expression blank. You barely see his arm move before you feel a rush of wind coming towards your face. You don’t have time to step out of the way, only to close your eyes. Nothing makes contact with you. You peel your eyes open to see his sword, fully unsheathed, an inch from your nose. 

“You aren’t fast enough. You’d die in ten seconds if you were in a real fight. Even those civilian dipshits noticed how weak and beat up you were. You’re fuckin’ eleven years old. You have to do better.” His voice is cold as he says it, arms steady still holding that sword right up to you. 

And then he’s gone, and the sword is gone, but Cal has taken his place. 

You’re expecting a fight, a chase, to be pummeled into the ground. Cal just sits there, grinning. His head turns to follow you as you walk back into your room. 

You left your groceries in the stairwell.

Maybe you’ll get them tomorrow. 

turntechGodhead [TG],/span> began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: yo ive got a story for you rose 

TG: you better be online today im tired of your shit

TT: Isn’t it a bit early in the afternoon for you to be pestering me? John is usually the man of your affections so early in the day.

TG: hes out with his dad

TG: public school shopping day

TT: If only you or I were able to experience the joys of back to school shopping. 

TG: rose we both know your mom takes you shopping for your weird homeschool bullshit

TT: That isn’t shopping, Dave, it is an intricate game of passive aggression. 

TT: ?

TT: Are you still there?

TG: yeah my bad 

TG: i was trying to make that a dick joke but i couldnt figure one out

TT: Tragic.

TT: Are you chatting with me for a reason? 

TT: Or can you just not stand a single day without annoying me.

TG: both 

TG: actually though

TG: my fucking neighbors are apparently stalking the shit out of me

TG: counting all my bruises and shit

TT: Bruises?

TG: from my training get on board

TT: Right. The swords. 

TG: how could you forget the swords

TT: Here comes the phallus joke…

TG: too obvious rose come on do you really think so poorly of my humor

TT: I am certain you do not want to hear my response. 

TT: Shall we get back to the point?

TG: good call

TG: so my neighbors 

TG: fuckin follow me up the stairs howie mendell style 

TG: bro had to come down and tell them to back off like the cool motherfucker he is

TT: I believe that is the first time I have ever agreed with you regarding his cool factor. 

TG: 

TG: are we

TT: No.

TG: going to have to get into this again

TT: No.

TG: okay so here goes my list of cool shit bro does on a daily basis

tentacleTherapist [TT] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: aw man i was just joking

TG: rose

TG: rose

TG: i know you love me 

TG: god damn it

There is a thirty percent chance you should expend a little more effort trying not to piss off one of your only three friends but, yikes, she’s pretty much just as much of a nightmare as you are. She can’t just show you her wizard erotica in a momentary lapse of judgement and ditch you, right? Besides, she totally owes the hell out of you for never telling a soul about the dirty shit her characters get up to. 

Your stomach starts growling again, this time accompanied by this wave of nausea that has you doubled over. You’ve got to go get that food. Bro knows that you’re up, knows you know he’s home, knows you want the food you dropped out in the stairwell. Sneaking wouldn’t be effective, so you open your door like a normal goddamn human. Correction: you try to open your door like a normal goddamn human. It just won’t open more than two inches. A pile of puppet ass blocks the way. You try the door again, harder, and then hip check it. Fuck. You literally cannot get out of your room. Unless you start digging through a pile of fucking smuppets.

Your stomach growls again. 

You pretend you can’t feel that lump in your throat, and toss yourself back into your computer chair. 

You wonder where the hidden cameras in your room are.

You wonder if he’s watching you. 

carcingoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: ALRIGHT DIPSHIT. 

CG: I ALREADY KNOW YOU AREN’T GOING TO TAKE MY ADVICE, BUT I WOULD BE A COMPLETE DOUCHEBAG IF I DIDN’T TRY TO WARN YOU.

TG: lmao hold the phone

TG: youre not a complete douchebag

TG: sure had me fooled

CG: FIRST OF ALL FUCK YOU.

CG: SECOND OF ALL, YOU HAVE TO GO TO HUMAN PUBLIC SCHOOL.

TG: ok what is it with strangers and the intimate details of my life today

CG: YOU KNOW I CAN SEE WHAT ROSE DOES IN HER HOMESCHOOL SITUATION TOO, RIGHT?

TG: right right youre an alien and watching human teens is like your version of the jersey shore got it

CG: I GUARANTEE THAT IS AN INACCURATE METAPHOR BUT FOR THE SAKE OF MY ARGUMENT I WILL LET IT SLIDE.

TG: oh gee thanks

CG: SHE ACTUALLY LEARNS AT SCHOOL, DAVE. HER LUSUS SITS DOWN WITH HER AND TEACHES HER MATH AND ROSE MAKES DIAGRAMS OF CELLULAR ANATOMY AND WRITE POEMS.

TG: sounds lame

CG: THAT IS NOT WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU IN SCHOOL THIS YEAR.

CG: I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE AT HOME WITH HIM.

CG: JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE.

CG: HE IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING

CG: BAD

TG: unfortunately i am a little too bogged down by smuppet ass at the moment to give a shit about your delusions

TG: maybe try again tomorrow

CG: IT IS GOING TO GET WORSE DAVE.

TG: shit isnt even bad to begin with jesus dude

TG: maybe you are an alien and thats why youre so freaked out by a normal human household

CG: FUCK

CG: COULD YOU JUST STOP BEING A SARCASTIC ASS FOR TEN MINUTES AND LISTEN TO THE ONE FUCKING PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE WHO KNOWS WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU?

TG: mmm

TG: nah

TG: but please feel free to check out my latest comic

TG: note the donate button at the bottom of the page

TG: dave has his eye on a shovel to dig his way out of this smuppet pile

TG: sweetbroandhellajeff.jpg

CG: OIDHSGASOH;SODFHIASFJDORTYAOWEIHNSLDJKNA;SODI

CG: FUCK

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT ASSHOLE?

CG: FINE.

CG: BUT WHEN SOMETHING SHITTY HAPPENS TO YOU THREE WEEKS FROM NOW

CG: DON’T COME CRYING TO ME.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] 

Yeah, you can pretty much guarantee that won’t be happening. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those of you who dont know me, pls follow me on tumblr @ corybanticgloom.tumblr.com my blog is a mess id love to share with all of you 
> 
> feel free to chat me if youre looking for an online pal who responds v rarely xoxo


	4. There's So Much Beauty in a Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey it sure has been awhile  
> my life is kind of in shambles but im pulling it together  
> short chapter, pls be gentle im kind of a mess right now but i have the following chapter all written out i just gotta code it im hoping to get it out later today

You don’t know why your eyes are so sore. It’s not like you didn’t spend hours on end staring at your husktop back on Alternia, but something about the computer screens in this lab have your retinas begging for mercy. Shit, maybe it’s just the content you’re forcing on them.  
You have tried not internet stalking Dave. Really, honestly, you have. There are about one thousand more important things for you to be doing. Like, you know, saving your fucking friends from rotting to death on this meteor in the middle of the void. It isn’t like you aren’t trying to do that. You’re on this computer doing research, trying to pinpoint exactly how the humans fucked you over so that you can stop it, or fix it, or at the very least have some concrete evidence while you’re ripping them a new one.  


It’s just, every time you’re scrolling through Dave’s timeline you see something fucked up. Too fucked up to ignore. Porn, pummelings, starvation. You’ve tried telling him to get the fuck out of there. It hasn’t gone so great. You’ve tried just focusing on the other three assholes. It’s not like John and Jade aren’t doing plenty of shit to keep your thinkpan angry and occupied. You, fuck, you just can’t stop thinking about him.  


So, here you are, staring at another attempted conversation gone awry, hoping to hell that he can shovel his way out of that smuppet pile outside his bedroom before he goes insane.  


God, maybe you’re insane. Why are you spending so much time trying to convince this human boy that his life is fucked up? Things weren’t so peachy for you on Alternia, what with the being a mutant and having to hide your blood color for fear of being culled, and you sure as shit never complained about it. Much. And weren’t some of your friends’ lusi just as messed up as Dave’s? Gamzee’s lusus was completely absent, and Vriska’s lusus had her literally murdering, and the two of them turned out-  


Okay, maybe those aren’t the best examples.  


Something about imagining a world where the dorkwad you see on your computer screen turns into a sopor addict juggalo or straight up crazy murder bitch has you feeling uneasy. He’s just some stupid kid trying to hide the severity of his situation from everyone he holds dear. That hits home kind of hard.  


Fuck.  


“Terezi. Terezi. Fuck, Pyrope, I know you can hear me, come over here.” If anyone is going to be able to sympathize with your current predicament, it’s Terezi. Her whole raised-blind-and-alone story is just as tragic as your mutant shit, and she’s got this weird affinity for Dave that annoys the piss out of you about as much as your obsession with Dave does.  


“Can’t you see I’m busy Karkat? Doing the work of my dear precious leader?” She motions to her screen, where Dave is wearing a stupid green suit and chatting with her on a pair of absolutely obscene hybrid computer-glasses. You genuinely cannot decide what irks you more, his outfit or her talking to him.  


“I thought I told you to leave him the fuck alone. I am dealing with him, Terezi.” She won’t listen, but it doesn’t mean you won’t argue.  


“Sounds like you’ve been dealing with him an awful lot,” She pauses, grins, “He won’t shut about you, Karkat. It’s terrible.”  


“When the fuck are you even talking with him?” It dawns on you that this motherfucker is probably talking shit about you behind your back. To Terezi. Great.  


“During the game, dur, when else even matters?” She crosses her arms.  


“When else even matters? That’s the grub sucking stupidest question I’ve ever heard! Maybe try all the times he’s getting-” You stop.  


Fuck.  


You should not be spilling his secrets. Not even to Terezi. Not if she hasn’t seen them for herself.  


“Getting what, Karkat?” She’s bored with you. You can tell she’s bored with you and it’s infuriating. You want to have time to argue with her, good and proper, about something spades, something sexy, something that matters.  


But you’re too distracted by the boy on your computer screen.  


“Can you just lay the fuck off him?” You demand.  


“No can do, Vantas.” She turns around, starts typing. You take two steps towards her, stop. Clench your fists. Go back to your computer. You don’t have time for her shit right now. You’ve got to save your species. You’ve got to stop the humans from fucking up your entire existence. You’ve got to get Dave out of his house before his guardian fucking murders him. Having Dave’s entire timeline laid out in front of you is doing exactly nothing to curb the anxiety inside you that you are about to see him get sliced in two by his own fucking lusus. If the moron isn’t going to listen to you, maybe he’ll listen to his friends. The friends you are supposed to be trolling, anyway. Two feather-beasts with one stone, right?  


carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]  
CG: HERE WE GO WINDBAG.  
CG: I’M GOING TO BLAZE RIGHT PAST THE OBVIOUS PUN THERE AND GET TO THE MAIN EVENT.  
CG: I AM SUPPOSED TO BE TROLLING YOU HARD.  
CG: TELLING YOU ALL ABOUT HOW I AM YOUR GOD.  
CG: ABOUT HOW YOU, PUNY HUMAN, HAVE COMMITTED THE GREATEST SACRILEGE IN THE HISTORY OF YOUR ENTIRE REALITY BY EFFECTIVELY TRAPPING YOUR CREATORS IN A VOID BEYOND ANY UNIVERSE.  
CG: AND ALL OF THOSE THINGS CAN AND WILL BE SAID IN FUTURE CONVERSATIONS.  
CG: BUT  
CG: WE HAVE SOME MORE URGENT BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.  
EB: um, hi?  
EB: should i know you?  
EB: is this dave? did you change your chumhandle to something even dumber?  
CG: FOR THE FUCKING RECORD, MY TROLLHANDLE IS INFINITELY SUPERIOR TO ANY OF YOUR UTTERLY RIDICULOUS NAMES.  
CG: ESPECIALLY DAVE STRIDER’S.  
EB: hmm i don’t know this sounds suspiciously like you dave :B  
CG: SHUT UP.  
CG: BUT ONLY FOR A MINUTE BECAUSE YOU AND I NEED TO HAVE A GOOD LONG TALK ABOUT NONE OTHER THAN DAVE FUCKING STRIDER.  
EB: dude you are being especially unconvincing right now.  
CG: BLAH BLAH, YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, WHATEVER. MORE IMPORTANTLY: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH OF A DOUCHENOZZLE DAVE’S LUSUS IS?  
EB: lusus? Dave this is getting really weird, can you just cut it out so we can play WoW?  
CG: PARENT IS THE WORD YOU USE. HIS EARTH HUMAN PARENT. I BELIEVE HE “AFFECTIONATELY” REFERS TO THE JACKWIPE AS BRO.  
EB: uh, okay, this definitely isn’t dave. I’ve never heard him talk shit about his dork brother. Who are you?  
CG: YOU WON’T BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU.  
EB: that’s stupid.  
CG: NO, I CAN LITERALLY SCROLL FIVE MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE AND WATCH YOU TYPE ALL ABOUT HOW YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME. I’D REALLY APPRECIATE IF WE COULD SKIP THIS INEVITABLE CIRCLE JERK.  
EB: are you like one of dave’s friends from texas? I didn’t really think he had friends there. How’d you get my chumhandle?  
CG: NO.  
EB: i can’t talk to you if you won’t tell me who you are! This is totally unfair, you’ve got all this information about me.  
CG: NO.  
EB: okay, then, bye!  
CG: ARGGGASDFH;AFHDI FINE FINE FINE  
CG: MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS AND I AM A LITERAL ALIEN FROM A DIFFERENT PLANET.  
CG: DUE TO A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, MY FRIENDS AND I CREATED YOUR SHITHOLE UNIVERSE. WE ARE NOW TRAPPED OUTSIDE OF IT BECAUSE, IN YOUR FUTURE, YOU MANAGE TO DESTROY YOUR PLANET AND MY UNIVERSE. SO CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT.  
EB: wow you were completely right, that makes absolutely no sense.  
EB: honestly i am more convinced now than ever that dave is in on this weird prank, that’s a story that only he could come up with.  
CG: YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T KNOW YOUR FRIEND VERY WELL. I HAVE EXPLAINED THIS IN DEPTH TO HIM ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS AND HE OH SO KINDLY EXPLAINED TO ME HOW THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE WERE A “BAD STORY”.  
EB: ugh you’re that dick from WoW aren’t you? Who kept following us and killing dave last night?  
CG: HOLY SHIT STOP  
CG: I’M NOT PLAYING THIS GAME EGBERT  
CG: YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT, WE HATE EACH OTHER, IT IS ALL VERY OBVIOUS AND CLICHE  
CG: BUT FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK CAN WE FOCUS ON DAVE RIGHT NOW.  
EB: focus on… how much of a douchebag his bro is? I mean, yeah, that’s pretty obvious.  
CG: AND YOU’RE JUST OKAY WITH IT?  
EB: i mean i don’t think anyone is really okay with a white guy rapper but it’s not like he’s hurting anyone.  
CG: NOT HURTING ANYONE?  
EB: uh, no?  
CG: YOUR LUSUS DOESN’T BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU LIKE DAVE’S DOES.  
EB: what?  
CG: HE SHOULD BE PROTECTING DAVE, FINDING HIM FOOD, INSTILLING A MORAL CODE IN HIM, NOT CUTTING HIM OPEN DOWN THE MIDDLE.  
EB: okay this is getting really weird.  
CG: *REALLY WEIRD*? THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK THE BLOOD OF YOUR “BEST BRO” IS? A LITTLE BIT PECULIAR?  
EB: :(  
ectoBiologist [EB]  blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Well, that plan failed spectacularly. Just like most of your plans! It shouldn’t have you feeling so surprised at this point. A good 100% of your plans end with you wishing you had never pupated. You are obviously the only idiot in the universe that gives a shit what Dave’s guardian us up to, and that makes you a fucking chump. A fucking chump who is probably totally misinterpreting alien culture and blowing shit way out of proportion.  


You still can’t get the thought of his blood out of your head, dripping of his guardian’s sword while the man stands there stoic, disappointed, amused. The thought of it has acid rising up your protein chute. That image is permanently plastered into your sponge. You are going to get this single goddamn teen out of the hellscape he calls home if it kills you. 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]  
CG: SINCE ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS APPEAR TO BE COMPLETELY OUT OF THEIR THINKPANS, IT SEEMS LIKE LUCKY YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT TO REASON WITH.  
CG: WELL, BESIDES THE LALONDE GIRL.  
CG: BUT I AM NOT TOUCHING THAT WITH A TEN FOOT FUCKING POKE STICK.  
GG: um, hi??  
GG: is this dave?  
CG: FUCK  
CG: I SWEAR ON THE GRAVE OF MY POOR, SWEET, DEARLY DEPARTED LUSUS THAT I WILL LAUNCH MYSELF INTO YOUR TINY SUN IF ONE MORE PERSON CONFUSES MY IDENTITY WITH THAT INSUFFERABLE PRICK TODAY.  
GG: oh…  
GG: so, you know dave?  
GG: insufferable prick is a little harsh but he sure can get on peoples nerves sometimes :)  
GG: dont tell him i said that though ;P  
CG: SURE, LET’S GO WITH YES, I KNOW DAVE.  
CG: AND I APPARENTLY AM ACQUAINTED WITH HIS PERSONAL PROBLEMS BETTER THAN THE REST OF YOU SHIT BLASTERS.  
GG: so you know him from real life or something?  
CG: HA! THAT’S HILARIOUS. A REAL NUB-JERKER.  
CG: YOU THINK HE KNOWS PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE? FUCKING ABSURD!  
GG: okay youre starting to make me a little uncomfortable :(  
GG: who are you and how do you know dave?  
CG: LISTEN.  
CG: I WILL MAKE THIS EXTRAORDINARILY SIMPLE FOR YOU.  
CG: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO I AM, YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME ANYWAY.  
CG: BOTTOM LINE IS, YOUR *FRIEND* DAVE IS IN SOME SERIOUS SHIT. FOR SOME UNGODLY REASON ALL OF YOU HUMANS THINK HIS GUARDIAN IS SOME IRONIC JOKE, BUT HE IS NOT. HE IS DANGEROUS, AND FOUL, AND PROBABLY A LITERAL DEMON.  
CG: HE HURTS DAVE EVERY DAY  
CG: AND IT IS GOING TO GET WORSE.  
CG: YOU HAVE TO GET DAVE OUT OF HIS HIVE.  
GG: this is not a funny joke!!  
gardenGnostic [GG] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
CG: I AM AWARE OF THAT!  
CG: I AM CLEARLY THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON AWARE OF THAT!

Holy shit. This was stupid. This whole goddamn plan was ill crafted and asinine. Why the shit would you think that helping one of these aliens was a practical use of your time? The same aliens, mind you, that caused the destruction of your session. But here you are, hand feeding them the fodder it takes for them to become the incompetent morons that will eventually fuck you ov-

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
TG: alright douchebag  
TG: i have been all sorts of amicable up until now  
TG: ive let you talk shit about me and my bro  
TG: i let you freak john out  
TG: i laughed about it even  
TG: some of the shit you spew is pretty damn hilarious  
TG: tonight wasnt fucking cool though  
TG: you dont get to fuck around with jade  
TG: i will hack you i will dox you i will show up out your house myself and beat the shit out of you  
TG: do not mess with jade   
CG: WAIT  
CG: I KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO BLOCK ME JUST HOLD YOUR SHITTING HOOFBEASTS.   
TG: what is this where you go off on some heartfelt apology  
TG: confess to all your dirty secrets and rap with me about your dark past  
CG: NO  
CG: YES?  
CG: I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU DIPSHIT.  
TG: okay right i dont believe you  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked turntechGodhead [TG]  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]  
CG: HE SHOULDN’T HIT YOU DAVE.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked turntechGodhead [TG]

You have a headache. You have a headache, and you need to find a way to convince Dave Strider that you are telling the truth.


	5. Saw It Clearer in Hindsight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: sexual assault, anxiety/panic attack
> 
> so this is like, worst case scenario bro. just in case. yall hadnt gotten that from previous chapters. i dont have anything too graphic, but the anxiety and panic attack portion is described in detail.

You should be happy that the calluses on your hands didn’t crack, that you aren’t sitting with your clothes on in the shower trying to pick the tatters of your shirt out of lacerations in your body. Honest to god, you should be ecstatic. You didn’t get hit tonight. You should feel joyful, you should feel thankful, you should feel goddamn proud of yourself for actually slicing bro with your sword.

You feel something else. 

You feel vomit creeping up your esophagus, pressing its weight on your heart so hard it feels like it’ll stop beating. 

You feel like you cheated. 

You feel like it’s a trap.

You feel your hands fading out of existence, all static and heavy pulse.  
No matter how hard you think back on it, you can’t figure out what you did right. You weren’t fighting good. You were barely even fighting okay. Every time bro would flashstep out of sight, you were too busy thinking of your last conversation with Jade to concentrate on finding him. 

No, that’s bullshit. You weren’t thinking about your conversation with Jade. You were thinking about the troll you yelled at. 

When bro went to swing his sword at you, all you could hear was the “ding” of Pesterchum, those obnoxious all caps letters spelling out “HE SHOULDN’T HIT YOU, DAVE”. He shouldn’t hit you, he shouldn’t hit you. 

And you didn’t let him. Because he shouldn’t hit you. Because you didn’t want him to hit you. You didn’t want him to hit you.

Fuck.

So, okay. You’ve gotta pull yourself together, Dave. You’ve been sitting on your bed staring down the black monitor of your computer across the room for the past forty five minutes, and you know it’s getting pathetic. 

Yeah, okay, you didn’t feel like getting shoved down a flight of stairs today. That’s just normal. Doesn’t mean that… that him shoving you is wrong. Your whole deal is that you aren’t supposed to be normal, right? You’re supposed to be this wicked sword fighter. If he doesn’t shove you, how are you supposed to learn? And now you’re pussying out, all not wanting to get hit and shit. 

Fuck. 

He shook your hand when you cut him open. Dropped his sword on the spot as soon as he felt the tip of your weapon slice into him. It freaked you out. You thought he was pissed, that his hand extended out in front of you was a trap. It’s not exactly like you were cutting at him lightly, holding back. If he weren’t so fast, you’d have killed him. Or something.

You were thinking that at the time. That you could have killed him. It had your hands all numb, your blood pumping too hard. And then he dropped his sword, and you held yours awkwardly in front of you, one handed, stumbling back. He stuck out his hand. You took it. You had a bro on bro handshake. Your first physical contact since… since, uh…

You can feel it now, that same tingling in your hands. Like they’re numb. Like they aren’t there at all. It travels to the pit of you, till you’re lying on your side digging your nails into your skin. You think you might be crying. You aren’t really sure. Crying isn’t exactly something that happens to you. Striders don’t cry. Least of all when they’ve won. 

You didn’t realize he was wasted until he pulled you in for a hug. A big, sloppy, holds you for a little too long kind of deal. He reeked of tequila. Maybe a hint of lime. Made you realize that you weren’t getting better at fighting, that he was just giving up on you so hard that he had to show up to training wasted. You’re that much of a disappointment. 

Fuck.

He told you he wanted to watch TV with you. Bro has never, not once in your life, asked you to participate in a bonding activity with him. When you were younger, he used to make you spin his turntables. Tell you to play video games with him. That was the thing, though. It was never an invitation before today. 

You guess, maybe, it wasn’t really so much of an invitation today either. He went through the courtesy of asking, but he knows you wouldn’t have the guts to deny him. Not after you cut him. Not after you made him bleed. So you sat next to him on his futon, the pile of smuppets surrounding you pushing you right up against him.  
Sitting on your bed, now, you wonder if that’s what family is supposed to do. Rose has sent you a dozen of her mother’s selfies, the two of their faces all smushed together. Three nights a week John tells you he fell asleep watching a movie with his dad and woke up in his bed hours later, all tucked in and shit. 

But it felt sick sitting so close to your brother. You were hyper aware of his weight sinking into you. The hair on your arms bristled every time his breath would speed up, just waiting for him to catch you off guard and push you down. You didn’t want to get hit.

Hell, you didn’t want to get hit. 

He gave you a beer. Two beers. You didn’t want the first one, felt sick during the second. He told you that you needed to relax. Even now, you don’t think he was wrong. 

“All you do is try to be cool like me little man,” He told you, “Just chill the fuck out for once”. 

He was probably giving you solid advice. Hours later, the tail end of the booze is what’s keeping you from completely flipping your shit. Thank heck for the shot of whiskey bro poured you after he…

After he.

Fuck.

You’ve got to do something else. You can’t sit here and not think about it anymore, halfway between drunk and an panic attack. You roll yourself out of bed, plant your feet as firmly on the floor as you can manage, and walk over to your computer. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]  
TG: yo are you busy  
TT: Hello Dave.  
TT: How unusual for you to inquire about my prior engagements before launching into a tangent.  
TT: I am currently attempting to avoid my mother’s most recent plot to ruin me.  
TG: plot   
TT: Nothing spectacular, just more of the usual.  
TT: Although tonight she decided to get inebriated using the expensive vodka before she berated me with questions about my day.  
TT: She usually uses bottom shelf liquor. I wonder what the special occasion is.  
TT: But I’m sure your problems are more urgent. Jade informed me that you have a secret online admirer. I’m almost jealous, they sound like they are more capable of annoying you than I am.   
TG: secret admirer  
TG: you mean that troll that keeps bugging me and john and rose  
TG: he hasnt talked to you  
TG: i was under the impression he was stalking literally everyone i know  
TT: I’m not sure if I feel honored or affronted.   
TG: hes just some punk whatever  
TT: So he isn’t what you’re here to talk to me about?  
TG: i was just gonna show you a new song i mixed  
TG: its not a big deal  
TG: i mean its a big deal in that its the sickest beat youll hear all week  
TG: go deal with your moms shit though ill send it to you tomorrow  
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapst [TT]

Fuck. 

You want to talk to Rose. About bro. About what he did. Or maybe about anything besides what he did. But you’re drunk. You’re drunk and her mother is an alcoholic, and fuck if you’re about to mess with your best friend’s psyche like that. 

It’s just, this is not a John or Jade situation. 

Fuck. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
TG: alright lets say for arguments sake that i believe the bullshit alien thing  
TG: are you about to send me pictures of your alien junk dude because i have to say now is probably the worst time  
CG: I SPENT THE BETTER PORTION OF THE PAST TWENTY FOUR HOURS CONVINCING MY TECHNOLOGICALLY APT FRIEND TO CONNECT A CAMERA TO THIS COMPUTER, MAKING YOU THE FIRST HUMAN IN HISTORY TO WITNESS THE GLORIOUS VISAGE OF YOUR CREATOR.  
TG: i think we still need to do some work on that story still im a little lost  
CG: [carcinoGeneticist attached a picture]  
TG: why are your horns so much smaller than the dude behind you  
TG: also why is he a clown  
TG: is this some fucked up cult  
CG: REALLY? THAT IS GENUINELY YOUR RESPONSE? YOU, THE FIRST HUMAN TO EVER LAY EYES ON AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL AND ALL YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IS THE SIZE OF MY HORNS?  
TG: wow i see i hit a chord there  
TG: i didnt realize the horn thing was a complex  
TG: but you know what they say about guys with small horns  
TG: shit  
TG: can we stop talking about dicks right now  
CG: YOU SEEM TO BE THE ONE BRINGING THEM UP.  
CG: ??  
CG: ARE YOU STILL THERE?  
TG: yeah  
TG: so uh  
TG: what was all that garbage about getting to look at my whole life you were talking about before  
CG: [cargincoGeneticist attached a photo]  
TG: hahaha dude you are a terrible photographer  
TG: i was gonna let the first one go but jesus shit  
TG: everyone knows you cant take pictures of electronics they turn out like shit  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP CLOCKSHIT.  
CG: IT IS CLEAR ENOUGH TO DEMONSTRATE MY POINT.  
TG: right sure so what am i supposed to be looking at here  
CG: YOUR TIMELINE.  
CG: YOU CAN SEE MY CURSOR HOVERING ABOVE A POINT IN YOUR FUTURE.  
TG: whats up with my sweet cape  
CG: YOU’LL SEE LATER.  
CG: A YEAR AND A HALF LATER TO BE SPECIFIC.  
TG: im not totally convinced this isnt some fancy photoshop shit but youve obviously got someone helping you on the art front judging by your subpar photos  
CG: BOTTOM LINE IS, I KNOW WHEN YOU’RE MESSAGING ME FROM. I KNOW WHAT JUST WENT DOWN.  
TG: great glad that was broadcast to you  
TG: so what the fuck happens now  
TG: what does future dave do about this  
TG: not like dave in a cape way in the future i mean future dave like ten minutes from now dave  
TG: tomorrow dave  
TG: the day after dave  
TG: …  
TG: dude where the fuck did you go  
CG: I WAS CHECKING  
CG: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DO A LOT OF TALKING TO ME AND PLAYING THAT ASININE GAME WITH JOHN.  
TG: thats it  
CG: THAT’S IT.  
TG: so i just  
TG: im just fine with the way he touched me  
TG: ten minutes from now im like oh hey bros hard penis was totally cool being all up on me i should play some wow  
TG: thats how i feel about it  
TG: regular  
TG: normal  
TG: run of the mill sexual  
TG: sexual fucking  
CG: ASSAULT IS THE WORD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.  
CG: AND NO DIPSHIT, YOU ARE NOT FINE WITH IT.  
CG: BUT YOU DO HAVE A LOVELY MELTDOWN ABOUT YOUR LACK OF OTHER OPTIONS IN THREE, TWO...  
TG: right yes all my other options  
TG: go into the street and live there  
TG: i hear trans kids have a great time in texas that should be fun  
CG: SEE, HERE WE FUCKING GO.  
TG: maybe i hitchhike to johns house  
TG: yo mister egbert its me your new son you got a cute note to leave me  
TG: or i could go to my relatives house  
TG: just kidding  
TG: bro acquired me in the most sketchy fucking way possible  
TG: i wouldnt be surprised if there was some black albino couple in the middle of oklahoma looking for me right now  
TG: all thinking how hard can it be to find our freakshow son  
TG: jokes on them i live with someone who makes me sneak out to buy goddamn food theyll never see my ass again  
TG: thats fucked up isnt it  
TG: im actually asking dude  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: YEAH, IT IS FUCKED UP.  
CG: YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO HIDE FOOD FROM YOUR GUARDIAN.  
CG: EVEN ON ALTERNIA THE MOST VICIOUS LUSUS WOULD AT THE VERY LEAST ADVOCATE FOR THE PROCUREMENT OF NUTRIENTS.  
TG: i wish you never told me man  
TG: i wish you never told me it was fucked up for him to hit me  
TG: dont talk to my friends about this  
TG: please  
CG: I CAN’T DO ANYTHING TO HELP YOU FROM HERE.  
CG: TELLING THEM IS YOUR ONLY OPPORTUNITY TO GET AWAY FROM HIM.  
CG: HELLO?  
CG: DAVE?  
turntechGodhead [TG] is an idle chum  
CG: WHATEVER.  
CG: HELL FUCKING KNOWS I’LL STILL BE SITTING IN FRONT OF THIS COMPUTER WHENEVER YOU DECIDE TO TALK TO ME AGAIN. 

Right now, you’re not so sure you’ll be talking to anyone again. You want to be alone. The real kind of alone. The kind of alone you’ve never actually experienced, where bro is definitely 100% not lurking somewhere in your apartment waiting to hit you, or- or- 

Fuck.

Your hands are not supposed to feel like this, all pins and needles and freezing. You can barely get down any air your chest is so tight. You pull at your binder, half-hearted. Feeling air on your chest has your stomach in flip flops. You’re gonna have to keep that shit locked down right now. And also always. 

You don’t think you meant it when you told carcinoGeneticist that you wish he’d never brought this shit up with you. 

carcinoGeneticist. Shit. You don’t know that little dude’s name. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
TG: so now that were best buds  
TG: two fucking peas in a goddamn pod  
TG: whats your name  
CG: KARKAT.  
CG: ARE YOU OKAY?  
CG: I FEEL LIKE THE THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY IS A THING WE SHOULD STILL BE TALKING ABOUT.  
TG: or  
TG: consider this  
TG: i link you a bootleg copy of world of warcraft  
TG: we make you the shittiest character we possibly can  
TG: and we get our asses kicked by earth nerds  
CG: FINE.  
CG: BUT WE ARE GOING TO MAKE ME A KICKASS CHARACTER, AND HIS NAME IS GOING TO BE THE SIGNLESS.  
TG: is this an oc of yours  
TG: this sounds like a story i definitely dont want to hear  
CG: WELL BUCKLE THE FUCK UP AND GET READY, BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE SINGLE GREATEST HERO IN ALTERNIAN HISTORY.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, a few things!
> 
> story related: characters might get a bit more "out of character" at this point, especially the betas. this is on purpose. obviously trying to maintain the core of their personality, but this is a huge developmental period for them and things are going way different for them (especially for dave, in terms of having at least one person right now who knows what's going on w him and is trying to support him). tdlr; if dave seems like he is being better at expressing emotions later on in the story than he was in canon at that point, thats bc he is
> 
> life things that will effect updates:  
> i am moving to a new city dec 1st  
> today is my last day of work in my current city, and i am working on applying to new jobs in new city  
> i have 5 phd programs to apply to by dec 1st and 5 to apply to by dec 15th
> 
> what this means: next update will happen in december, likely after the 15th but possibly sooner 
> 
> also check out my hot mess tumblr:  
> corybanticgloom@tumblr.com


	6. A Word of Welcome and of Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops this took 3 months longer than expected

carcinoGeneticist [TG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: HOW DO I FIX HIM? 

CG: I AM AT A COMPLETE FUCKING LOSS, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME HOW TO FIX HIM.

TG: karkat i

TG: cant do this again

TG: we cant fix it we cant fix him hes fucking dead

CG: WHAT? WHO THE FUCK IS DEAD?

TG: jesus shit this isnt you you is it

TG: when are you messaging me from dumbass

CG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO BEGIN TO ANSWER THAT ASINE QUESTION. FROM MY PERSPECTIVE? YOURS? OR MAYBE FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF OUR DYING UNIVERSES?

TG: normally i love your little rants but this is not a great time for me man

TG: can you not see that im in the middle of some major sburb shit right now

CG: DAVE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

CG: PAST YOU WON’T TALK ABOUT IT. YOUR GUARDIAN JUST

CG: IT JUST HAPPENED A WEEK AGO, AND YOU WON’T FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT. I WATCHED YOU EAT FUCKING DINNER WITH HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE EVERYTHING WAS JUST ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NORMAL. YOUR BROTHER DOING…

CG: IT WASN’T OKAY AND YOU WON’T FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT.

TG: wow

TG: so we just started talking from your pov

TG: dude i

TG: i dont even know what to fucking say right now

CG: I AM WATCHING YOU FALL APART DAVE.

CG: AND THEN I SEE YOU GET BETTER IN THE FUTURE.

CG: I’M WATCHING IT ON MY SCREEN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS. TELL ME RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY WHAT I DO TO MAKE YOU BETTER.

TG: i liked it when you would draw with me

TG: and tell me stories about alternia

CG: HEARING ABOUT MY FUCKED UP GRUBHOOD GETS YOU OFF OR SOMETHING?

TG: yup 

CG: DISGUSTING.

TG: alright well better go tend to past suffering dave

CG: WAIT

CG: DAVE

CG: WHO IS DEAD?

CG: DAVE?

TG: dude youre the one with the viewport of my entire timeline

CG: I AM ATTEMPTING TO RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY AND AGENCY.

TG: shit

TG: of fucking course you are you goddamn dweeb

TG: well then i guess sorry man

TG: knight of time here

TG: if i gave away future secrets id have to give my badge away

TG: but uh

TG: its gonna be fine dude

TG: past me is going to be fine and current me

TG: im gonna fix this

turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

Well fuck if that wasn’t the most unhelpful conversation you’ve had in three days. The assfuck did nothing but tell you to continue doing the same things you’ve been doing since Dave asked you for help. That, and let it slip that someone is dead. 

You have the ability to see who. You know you do. All you have to do is scroll a little farther forward, over to when he’s entered the game. But you can’t. It feels like cheating somehow. The last thing you want is to be Dave’s Aradia, blabbering all this nonsense about the future like a shitty prophet. The last thing you need is to be snooping even further into Dave’s life. The kid has enough strangers watching him on camera. 

You need a goddamn break. 

Terezi is still at the computer across from you, still hammering away at her keyboard inevitably talking to goddtier Dave. Three days ago, she was the only one of your shithead friends you wanted to talk to. Looking at her now has your stomach turning. Not in the way it did during your… moment. When you kissed her. Not butterflies. You just feel sick, and sad, and angry. You don’t want her talking to him, playing games with him. Dave is too fragile for her shit. 

Maybe you are, too. You, your entire team. If she and fucking Vriska would have just stopped fucking with each other, with everyone else-

Yeah, you’ve got to find someone to talk to before you drive yourself completely insane. 

You spot Kanaya reading in the corner, just to the left of Sollux and Feferi’s uncomfortably public red flirting. She’s sitting on the floor, legs crossed, thick hair threatening to fall in front of her eyes. You manage to get down on her level, knees bumping against hers, before she notices you. 

 

“You alright?” She smiles. Her finger traces a line in her book, keeping her place. 

“Just wanted a break.” You tell her. 

“I’ve been speaking with some of the humans, too. It seems like you’ve agreed to deviate from your initial revenge plan?” Her smile turns into a smirk, like she’s mocking you. 

“They needed our help. They’re pathetic.” You defend yourself.

“You’ve seen what happens in their session, Karkat. I don’t know what you think you can do to change their fate, or ours for that matter.” Her stare is hard, final.

“I haven’t looked into what happens in their session. Terezi showed me the general gist of it, you saw that, but I haven’t been looking. I haven’t even seen them enter the game yet.” You tell her. 

She closes her book, “Excuse me?” 

You stare at her, mouth closed. 

“Karkat, why? Wasn’t the whole point of this to… change something? To come to some greater understanding? To find a way to get us off this meteor?” Her eyes narrow. 

“We both know I can’t change shit about their session. I know time is the complete opposite of your thing, but it’s fucking immutable. All that deviating would do is land us in some off shoot doomed timeline where we all fucking die anyway. The best I’ve got is helping him. Them. The humans.” You’re honestly not sure who you’re trying to convince. She’s right, after all. You’re supposed to be finding a way to save your teammates, not serving as some alien’s confidant. 

“You’ve formed a bond with one of them too.” She states. 

“No! But I saw what Terezi showed me. They program some unbelievably powerful sprites, lose the game, Jack Noir from their timeline messes everything up for all of us, and then static. I know I said we should be punishing them for their mistakes but-” You are silenced when Kanaya cuts you off.

“But how does vague ranting at a clearly inferior alien race help us fix things after the static.” She’s frowning. 

“You think it’s a bad plan? Trying to help them?” You ask. 

“Which one of them have you been speaking with?” She diverts. 

“Dave.” You admit. 

She lets out a snort, eyes still sad, “No, Karkat. I think it is a brilliant plan.” 

“You are obviously upset about something.” You tell her. 

“I think I’m going to spend some time elsewhere on the meteor. I’ve been training Eridan to use magic, you know.” She doesn’t have to wink for you to catch her malicious intent. 

“Kanaya.” You say. 

“What?” Her smile screams feigned innocence. 

“You know what he’s like. I don’t need Eridan obsessed with power brandishing a fake wand around the lab.” You warn.

“I am utterly offended that you would think my wand would be fake.” Her face is deadpan. 

“You’ve been talking to the humans too much.” 

 

You stand up without warning and instinctively walk to check on the computer you’ve been using. The swelling in your chest when you see an incoming chat from Dave abruptly informs you that you’ve developed a subconscious habit. Weren’t you just telling yourself that you need a break from spending every ounce of energy left in your body trying to fix this alien’s problems? You click on the window anyway. Its incessant blinking can’t just go ignored. 

 

turntechGodhead (TG) began pestering carcinoGeneticist (CG)

TG: so bad news john found out ive been helping an alien max out a shitty wow character and is jealous

TG: not that he actually believes youre an alien

TG: id send him those pictures of you but hes seen my photoshop skills so it wouldn’t help much

CG: WHEN YOU SAY YOUR PHOTOSHOP SKILLS, ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE HEINOUS COMIC STRIP YOU REFUSE TO CEASE SENDING ME?

TG: okay i get it it looks shitty

TG: but see this is how i know you didnt photoshop yourself as an alien you have no respect for art

TG: it takes time and genius to make sbahj

TG: anyway man 

TG: have you been video spying on me today or what

CG: MY TODAY? YES. YOUR TODAY? NO. 

TG: i am so hoping i never have to get all marty mcfly levels of comfortable with this time paradox shit like you are

TG: but before you inevitably start creeping on my day to day

TG: can you not

TG: just not today alright

CG: YOU SEEM TO BE UNDER THE FALSE IMPRESSION THAT I SPEND THE ENTIRETY OF MY TIME WATCHING YOU.

TG: dude our first ten conversations consisted of you listing my deepest darkest secrets

CG: OKAY SO MAYBE THAT WASN’T THE BEST TACTIC FOR SHOWING MY RESPECT FOR BOUNDARIES. THIS MAY SURPRISE YOU BUT MY PAST SELF MAKES A LOT OF SHITTY DECISIONS. 

TG: im loving the way you take responsibility for your actions real classy

CG: HA HA VERY FUNNY

CG: I’M JUST TRYING TO SAY THAT I’M NOT LOOKING ANYMORE. UNLESS YOU SAY IT’S ALRIGHT.

CG: WHEN YOU START PLAYING THE GAME IT MIGHT BE MORE IMPORTANT FOR ME TO WATCH YOU THOUGH. I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET YOURSELF KILLED JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE CAMERA SHY.

TG: yeah 

TG: camera shy

TG: so about this game

TG: what exactly are we going to be fighting

TG: i feel like i should be preparing myself for dragons or some shit

CG: I DON’T KNOW.

TG: that answer is really helping me buy your i won the game and am your god story

CG: IT VARIES FROM GAME TO GAME JACKASS.

CG: I DON’T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU GUYS END UP WITH.

CG: SOMETHING WITH WINGS THAT IS ALSO A DOG IS ALL I REMEMBER.

TG: so we have to fight the shittiest furry oc of all time 

TG: pretty sure everything ive done my entire life was leading up to that anyway so sure that checks out

CG: DAVE?

TG: yo

CG: WHY DON’T YOU WANT ME TO LOOK AT YOU TODAY?

TG: i just had a really awesome day you know

TG: definitely saw zero puppets 

TG: was not conned into being on a porn site again 

TG: didnt get the living shit beaten out of me

CG: FUCK.

CG: DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?

TG: nope

CG: DO YOU... 

CG: UH

CG: I COULD TELL YOU ABOUT MY SESSION. IF THAT WOULD HELP. 

TG: go for it

CG: ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS I DID WAS GET MY BEST FRIEND KILLED. 

TG: holy shit

TG: weird way to start your cheer up dave rant

CG: NO IT ISN’T THAT BIG OF A DEAL, HE ENDED UP HAVING MORE LIVES THAN THE REST OF US ANYWAY. KILLING HIM RIGHT OFF THE BAT JUST PUT HIM ON A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD WITH THE REST OF US. 

TG: is he mad though

CG: I’VE DONE WORSE THINGS THAN THAT DURING OUR FRIENDSHIP. AND IF I HADN’T LET HIM DIE, FEFERI WOULDN’T HAVE KISSED HIM. HE SHOULD BE THANKING ME. 

TG: okay so im assuming feferi is some chick playing the game with you

CG: YES. 

TG: so when i start the game ill like

TG: be able to meet rose and john and jade

CG: YOU’LL START OUT ALONE. YOU CAN GET TO OTHER PEOPLE’S PLANETS IF YOU GO THROUGH THE RIGHT GATES AT THE RIGHT TIME. 

TG: ok bored ill just figure it out when it happens

TG: did you get to chill with people or what

CG: I WAS WITH GAMZEE FOR AWHILE. STUPID FUCKING CLOWN WOULD HAVE DIED WITHOUT ME, I FELT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS JUNKIE ASS. AFTER THAT I WAS WITH TEREZI. AT FIRST IT WAS TO PREVENT HER FROM RUINING EVERYTHING BY GETTING INVOLVED WITH VRISKA AGAIN BUT 

CG: I GUESS IT ESCALATED. 

TG: is this where i get to hear about your alien girlfriend

CG: GIRLFRIEND? LIKE, FEMALE ROMANTIC PARTNER?

TG: is that a confirmation

TG: i wish i could fist bump you nice dude

CG: NO.

TG: what she dumped you

CG: THIS IS NOT WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT.

TG: oh shit she totally did

TG: thats rough buddy

TG: damn you think she left you for that vriska dude you were trying to keep her away from

CG: VRISKA IS A GIRL.

TG: okay so i dont want to jinx anything but i think we could flip this in your favor

CG: NO.

CG: NO NO NO.

CG: THIS IS STOPPING. 

TG: come on like it isnt every mans dream to get in between two hot chicks

CG: I AM TAKING A SCREENSHOT OF THIS, SO THAT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU WHEN TEREZI AND VRISKA GET AROUND TO TALKING TO YOU. YOU COULDN’T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF YOUR SUGGESTION UNTIL YOU HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BEING ON THE RECEIVING END OF THEIR BULLSHIT.

CG: AND I KNOW FOR A FUCKING FACT TEREZI HAS BEEN TYPING AWAY AT FUTURE YOU FOR THE PAST THREE DAYS SO GET FUCKING READY FOR THAT.

TG: alright cool well

TG: glad to know you have a crazy ex girlfriend bro

TG: hey karkat

CG: WHAT

TG: did you uh

TG: what happened to your parents when you started playing the game

CG: ALL OF OUR GUARDIANS WERE KILLED BEFORE WE STARTED PLAYING, AND WE ALL IDIOTICALLY CHOSE TO PROGRAM THEM INTO OUR KERNEL SPRITES. 

TG: okay wow that actually really blows

TG: the them being dead thing i mean

CG: IT WAS HARDER FOR SOME OF US THAN IT WAS FOR OTHERS. MY LUSUS WAS ONE OF THE BETTER ONES, BUT MOST OF MY MEMORIES INVOLVE HIM REWARDING ME WITH CARCASSES AND LITERAL FECES. HE HAD BETTER, IF MORE CRYPTIC, COMMUNICATION SKILLS AS A SPRITE. 

TG: but he wouldnt have come with you if you hadnt made him a sprite or whatever

CG: I DON’T KNOW.

CG: EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY HIVE CAME WITH ME. HE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE, TOO, IF HE’D BEEN ALIVE. 

CG: WOULD YOU

CG: ARE YOU TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE SURE YOUR BROTHER DOESN’T FOLLOW YOU INTO THE MEDIUM?

TG: its whatever

TG: i doubt i could stop him from barging in anyway

TG: hopefully that means john and rose can keep their parents alive though

TG: maybe i can meet them

TG: join the egbert family or some shit

CG: THIS IS A LITTLE EMBARRASSING BUT DURING THE GAME I MET SOMEONE THAT I CAME TO LOOK UP TO.

CG: I GUESS I DON’T HAVE THE CULTURAL EXPERIENCE TO SAY I THOUGHT OF HIM LIKE A HUMAN PARENT FOR SURE BUT

CG: MY BOND WITH HIM WAS DIFFERENT FROM THAT OF MY LUSUS.

CG: HE STABBED ME A FEW TIMES, FOR STARTERS. 

TG: okay dude i think seeing my bro has given you an inaccurate view of what parents are supposed to do

CG: THE STABBING WAS INCIDENTAL. 

CG: WHEN SOLLUX DIED BECAUSE OF ME, HE HELD ME WHILE I CRIED. FUCK THAT IS EMBARRASSING. 

CG: HE WAS ALSO THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER SEE MY BLOOD COLOR. 

TG: as a result of the stabbing

CG: LIKE I SAID, INCIDENTAL. 

CG: BUT WHEN HE SAW ME ALL FREAKED OUT ABOUT IT, HE CUT HIS HAND OPEN. LET ME SEE HIS BLOOD. 

TG: so what happened to him 

CG: WE ENDED UP EXILING HIM. I WASN’T THRILLED ABOUT THE PLAN, BUT IN RETROSPECT TRUSTING HIM WITH MORE POWER MAY HAVE BEEN DETRIMENTAL TO OUR WIN. 

CG: I’D LIKE TO THINK THAT MY JACK WOULDN’T HAVE COMPLETELY FUCKED ME OVER, THOUGH. 

TG: your jack

CG: THERE IS ONE IN EVERY SESSION.

CG: YOURS… IS THE ONE THAT FUCKS THINGS UP FOR YOUR ENTIRE SESSION. SO BADLY THAT HE SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN OUR SESSION, AND PREVENTED US FROM CLAIMING OUR REWARD. 

CG: AND HE FUCKING KILLED ME. 

TG: shit

CG: I WAS HONESTLY PRETTY DEVASTATED BEFORE I REALIZED IT WASN’T MY JACK. 

TG: yeah man

TG: when bro

TG: when he fucking molested me

TG: i mean its not like he wasnt doing fucked up shit before that

TG: some of the things he did before that actually mess with me way more

TG: but thats when i realized that all of my vague memories of him feeding me as a baby and shit

TG: teaching me how to use his turntables

TG: it doesnt mean shit after everything awful he has done

TG: so yeah im glad it wasn’t your jack that killed you

CG: SOMETIMES I HOPE, BY SOME FUCKED UP MIRACLE OF THE UNIVERSE, I MEET HIM.

TG: my bro

TG: you hope you meet my bro

CG: I’D LIKE TO LOOK THAT PIECE OF SHIT DEAD IN THE EYES WHILE I HOLD THE FUCK OUT OF YOU. SHOW HIM WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT SOMEONE. 

TG: dude

TG: gay

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU. 

CG: OH, SHIT, I HAVE TO GO. 

TG: everything alright

TG: karkat

TG: karkat

TG: alright well

TG: thanks man

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is an idle troll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am a mess but this fic isnt dead // be gentle things are rough right now


End file.
